UBL method:
Hire a lion. give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary.Restructure his job, position, boss, collegues, designation, location every 6 months. Remove all lions above 40 from the organisation or rename them "
Goats ". If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle. Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.

HSBC method:
Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat . Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat. He will die eventually of hope and starvation.

Citi method:
Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job. Ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40 kg goat. lion dies of the strain?

ABN AMRO method:

Hire the lion. Give him high impossible targets and expect a premature delivery of these targets. If the targets are delivered, clap for him in a townhall and if not delivered humiliate him regularly. Lion either dies of excitement or starts behaving like Tom hanks in Terminal.

MCB method:

Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...Show him suspense thriller "Reverse merger of your Jungle - Part III" the lion dies before joining....

StanChart method:
Hire a lion, motivate him to outshine other lions in the jungle.Load him with impractical targets and if he finds the prey ensure jackals in the jungle snatch the prey and credit lion dies in oblivion......

NIB method :
Hire a lion, load him with targets to focus on value instead of volume.Every quarter change the style and make his life miserable. If he survives in the system reward him with a hefty bonus else if he leaves profit of the bank improves along with EPS?

HBL Method:
Hire a lion and make him wonder, why he is hired.

Hi, Today I got the following email from Syed Irtaza ali:

This will Mess With Your Head.

3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL.

THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30,
SO EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.


A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED
THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25,   SO HE
SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5.

ON THE WAY, THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLY BETWEEN 3 MEN,
SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND
KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR HIMSELF.


THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM,
WHICH IS A TOTAL OF $ 27,
ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.

 WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?

I replied the above email like that:

3 men gave total of 30 $

Now the manager decides to give them back 5 $, which means that now the total fair of the room is 30$ - 5$ = 25$
Now at this point we need to decompose the distribution of the $ which is given below:

Manager = 25 $
Bellboy = 5 $
Total = 30 $ (No problem upto this point)

Now the bellboy is confused that how to distribute this 5$ among three person, so he gave 1# to each person and keep 2$ with himself.
Now check the distribution of $ among 5 stockholders

First they gave 30 $                        (Total amount is in the hand of manager)
Then Manager gave 5 $ to bellboy      (25 $ is in hand of manager and 5 # is in hand of bellboy i.e. 25$ + 5 $ = 30 $, no $ is missing yet)
Bell Boy gave 3 S$ back to the three person and keep 2 $ with himself
So distribution of $ after the final stage is:

Manager = 25$
Person A = 1$
Person B = 1$
Person C = 1$
BellBoy    = 2$.

Now sum the above $
25$ +1$ +1$ +1$ +2$ = 30$

So we can see that no $ is missing.

Conclusion:

every picture has got two side.. :)

 

 

Someone say...

 

• Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes
  the lock.
  
• To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY
  policy.
  
• The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
  
  
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think
  again, neither does Milk.
  
• All the desirable things in life are either illegal,
  expensive or fattening.
  
• Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear
  brighter before you hear them speak.
  
• Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never
  works.
  
• If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence
  that you ever tried.
  
• Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the
  most inaccessible corner.
  
• 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
  
• As soon as you mention something?? If it is good, it
  is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
  
• He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's
  golden rule.
  
• If you come early, the bus is late. If you come
  late?? The bus is still late.
  
• Once you have bought something, you will find the
  same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
  
• When in a queue, the other line always moves faster
  and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of
  transactions.
  
• If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have
  a pen, you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls.
  
• The door bell or your mobile will always ring when
  you are in the bathroom.
  
• After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses
  will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded
  than the other.
  
• If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut
  tonight.
  
• Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke
  from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
  
• Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether
  you need more.
  
• There are three sides to every argument: your side,
  my side and the right side.
  
• An expert is someone who takes a subject you
  understand and makes it sound confusing.
  
• Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is
  not one of them.
  
• Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
  
  
• When you're right, no one remembers. When you're
  wrong, no one forgets.
  
• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just
  like everyone else.
  
• Well done is better than well said .
  
• Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them
  when nobody is looking.
  
• Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY, Where there is
  MONEY, there are many WAYS. Where there is MONEY, there are many FRIENDS
  and RELATIVES.
  
• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to
• die.

Today I received an email. I thought to share this email. That is why I am posting it here..

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are employed."
He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email.

The man replied, "I don't have an email".
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. .........

Have a great day!!!

Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Smiling after reading is not mandatory